They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but maybe I’m about to change your mind…
I want to be better, and I have big dreams that I’m working on. I’m a plotter and a planner, and like to research my ideas thoroughly. But I never actually…you know… DO them.
So take blogging, for example. I love to write and have wanted to start for years. I’ve researched my niche, brainstormed names, researched webpage designs and layouts, I’ve got a huge list of blog article ideas, I’ve got loads of those ideas researched and plotted out. But I can’t seem to actually write anything and hit publish.
Likewise at work I’ve recently started a great new job with loads of creative freedom, and I’m doing training courses, attending webinars, reading self-improvement books, reading sector-specofic books, writing out and researching great ideas…but never implementing them.
I’m sick of bumbling along in mediocrity and I know I have the potential to do big things, but I keep getting in my own way and feeling like ‘but what if I don’t know enough and make a fool out of myself?’
Does anyone have any advice on how to get myself out of the ‘planning’ stage of my life and into the ‘doing’ stage?
I realise this sounds like a really stupid question and I feel like an idiot even writing it. I am mentally preparing myself for everyone to say ‘just do it’ 🤣
Comments
jnk • 51 points • 2023-03-10
The enemy of a good plan is the idea of a perfect plan.
“Maintenance can be orderly, but progress requires chaos.”
Just take that first step.
youre_so_touchy • 88 points • 2023-03-10
Could potentially be executive dysfunction? Since you seem to actually want to do things but are struggling to execute.
You can look up tons of tips for dealing with executive dysfunction. Here are some things that help me:
- Break tasks into smaller pieces (careful with this since you’re a planner. you just want tasks that look approachable—for example, today i’ll choose a platform to host my blog on; tomorrow i’ll make a short intro post VS today i’m gonna start my blog! that’s too big and vague!!)
- Listen to something in the background while you work (music, podcasts, etc)
- Find an accountability buddy and check in at agreed upon times (could be weekly, daily, etc)
- Body double: when a friend or accountability buddy is working/cleaning/whatever you’re struggling with, that means it’s time for you to do the same.
- Checklists!! If you’re a researcher/planner I suspect you’ll love this. I use Notion since it’s free and digital and (very important) I can make it pretty. It feels good to look back on your day and see stuff crossed off. It’s free dopamine!
It could also be holding yourself to standards that are too high. If that’s the case, it can feel a lot safer/easier to form the perfect plan so that you don’t “fail” when it comes time to execute. That’s some introspection/therapy stuff but I’m just throwing it out there in case it rings true for you.
Last thing: I’m gonna second the dopamine detox. Social media and video games give you so much unearned dopamine. Cutting back probably won’t magically fix executive function, but it does make getting things done feel a little more rewarding.Good luck!!
[deleted] • 46 points • 2023-03-10
I have ADHD, which causes issues with executive function, and OP sounds a lot like me! Personally, I find all the little tips for dealing with executive function to be useful but inadequate, given that I can’t get myself to be consistent with them. And believe me, I’ve been trying for over a decade! With that saiddd…
I wanted to add that it’s ok to break tasks down to ridiculously tiny actions. For example, floss one tooth. Usually, it’ll lead you to flossing your whole darn mouth, but the key is accepting it’s ok if it doesn’t! I’m learning to accept it by not so much pursuing a goal but rather valuing forward progress in and of itself, regardless how small.
Also, also, I find that whiteboards help! If I write plans down on my phone or in a notebook, I’m liable to forget them—out of sight, out of mind and all that!
Ladyharpie • 13 points • 2023-03-11
All of your suggestions are on point… except for the “dopamine detox.”
That’s not how dopamine works, and that misinformation can be dangerous for certain populations. You can’t detox from dopamine save from withdrawal symptoms when cutting drugs (such as uppers). Not to mention that people who struggle with executive dysfunction (ADHD especially) or addictive behaviors suffer from a significant dopamine deficit. “Detoxing” or lowering dopamine levels (if even possible without the intervention of pharmaceuticals) causes neurological impairments and debilitation (parkinsons etc).
Everything else was spot on and well written! I just get a bit nervous as someone who works in mental health about some of these trends when it comes to more vulnerable populations.
youre_so_touchy • 2 points • 2023-03-11
Thank you for sharing! Edited my comment :)
nelxnel • 2 points • 2023-03-11
This was so wholesome of both of you!
Big-Database-2206 • 1 points • 2024-02-26
So if cutting out social media is not the solution then what is?
MusicLovesYou_ • 123 points • 2023-03-10
Edit:
The phrase “Dopamine Detox” is controversial because it is not actually possibility to detox from dopamine as it is naturally occurring in our brains.
The practice is to actually increase our dopamine back to natural levels by not wasting our dopamine releases on addictive short term pleasure activities such as drugs, porn, and social media.
For people with mental health conditions, it is worth talking to your doctor about practices that could help you and if something like a dopamine detox could work for you. Here is a post from r/productivity from a user with ADHD who attempted a detox and posted their experience and results. There are helpful comments under the post that detail some interesting aspects that should be considered.
Thank you to the users who raised a safety concern for misinformation in my comment!!
Original comment:
My magic trick for willpower and motivation was to do a dopamine detox.
I attempted to cut social media, junk food, video games, even music from my life for 7 days.
During this time, I realized my cell phone was the greatest distraction getting in my way. It was breaking my focus with audio notifications, Lock Screen previews of messages, every social media app constantly demanding my attention.
Also during the detox, I journaled and read books more than I ever have in my life! I cleaned my room, wrote life plans, processed past trauma, strengthened bonds with my family and friends, and researched new topics every day.
Just a few days of taking a break from addictive activities really set me on track for really taking action and learning more personal development.
If you are interested in trying this, there are tons of resources online that will give you ideas for the type of limits you will want to set for yourself. It is customizable for everyone. I am open to chat if you want to use the same resources I did.
Take care of yourself, you got this!!!
Olives_And_Cheese • 53 points • 2023-03-10
If you are interested in trying this, there are tons of resources online that will give you ideas for the type of limits you will want to set for yourself. It is customizable for everyone.
Given OP’s issue, I feel like the research stage maybe should be skipped in this instance. Maybe just keep it simple: ‘No phones, junk food, or video games/mindless TV for a week’ 😂.
writingandrainbows • 19 points • 2023-03-10
The ironing is delicious 🤣
MusicLovesYou_ • 6 points • 2023-03-10
Totally agree!! I could have skipped that part.
[deleted] • 1 points • 2023-03-10
you are cool guy man
Ladyharpie • 8 points • 2023-03-11
That’s not how dopamine works, and that misinformation can be dangerous for certain populations.
You can’t detox from dopamine save from withdrawal symptoms when cutting drugs (such as uppers). Not to mention that people who struggle with executive dysfunction (ADHD especially) or addictive behaviors suffer from a significant dopamine deficit NOT an excess.
“Detoxing” or lowering dopamine levels (if even possible without the intervention of pharmaceuticals) causes neurological impairments and debilitation (parkinsons etc). Not to mention no where credited has found any scientific evidence on it at all.
MusicLovesYou_ • 8 points • 2023-03-11
Hey, I appreciate the clarification. “Dopamine Detox” is not actually a detox from dopamine. It’s an exercise to remove short term pleasure activities to actually increase your baseline of dopamine to a healthier level.
Thank you for that explanation for any readers here :)
Ladyharpie • 3 points • 2023-03-11
Again, that’s not how dopamine works. It isn’t like alcohol or drugs where if you cut down on it you become more sensitive to it.
Our bodies need homeostasis to function and will do whatever it needs to in order to maintain that. It’s great that you put down the phone but that dopamine level needs to stay consistent so it finds that source somewhere else such as journaling. Your dopamine levels aren’t really rising or falling by any significant degree otherwise you’d be suffering from psychosis for too much or neurological disability from too little.
When you’re hungry the easiest thing to get is fast food (internet) depriving your body of fast food you’ll eventually have to get from somewhere else (journaling). Cutting out fast food isn’t going to make you more or less hungry from time to time. It’s not going to make fast food keep you more full if you only eat it once a year.
I’m happy that people are making changes by refocusing, it’s absolutely necessary. Just as someone who works in the mental health field this oversimplification of an extremely complex neurological system can be dangerous for a lot of people.
MusicLovesYou_ • 4 points • 2023-03-11
The idea is a refocus and to not waste dopamine on activities that are unproductive.
I hope you also understand that I am not implying it is a strict discipline, it is totally customizable for every single person.
That is how dopamine works. If you scroll on tik tok for 2 hours right when you wake up, that depletes your dopamine to an unhealthy level.
Alternatively, if you wake up, hydrate, go outside and exercise, journal and read, your dopamine will be available to reward you for those healthy activities, allowing you to build those habits if you stay consistent with those activities.
I appreciate you taking the time to make sure I do not provide misinformation before I make posts. I will check all my facts on these things tomorrow as I write up my post for this subreddit detailing everything I have learned about this topic.
I also want to make sure people are safe too, so thank you for the time you’re taking to respond. I am open to any criticism of my statements.
Ladyharpie • 3 points • 2023-03-11
I see your intentions are good but you’re over simplifying it. You’re selling circles as spheres.
But maybe that’s what people need. I think I forget more laymen perspectives on medical/mental health issues. People need help and want answers that they can understand. So if it encourages them to make healthier choices then it probably doesn’t really matter if it’s backed by accredited research or not.
MusicLovesYou_ • 2 points • 2023-03-11
Thank you, and I genuinely needed your wake up call to do better when I make posts and comments. I added a disclaimer to my original comment and would like to know if it addresses your concerns
shannon_nonnahs • 3 points • 2023-03-11
I accept I don’t understand the layout of s dopamine detox, but as someone with ADHD who takes regularly prescribed ADHD medication for almost 15 years, this seems, to me, potentially dangerous advice for someone who struggles with similar issues and obstacles as me, who struggles with the exact issues as OP. Is this safe for everyone or just normative cognitive folks?
MusicLovesYou_ • 6 points • 2023-03-11
Yeah it’s safe. It’s basically just removing short term pleasure seeking activities like social media, video games, porn. Everybody sets their own conditions for the exercise.
[deleted] • 0 points • 2023-03-11
It is safe to cut out addictive short term pleasure activities such as alcohol, drugs, and social media, and replace it with healthy activities such as exercise, art, and journaling.
I appreciate that I need to learn more science and the careful consideration by your comment.
MusicLovesYou_ • 1 points • 2023-03-11
It is safe to cut out addictive short term pleasure activities such as alcohol, drugs, and social media, and replace it with healthy activities such as exercise, art, and journaling.
I appreciate that I need to learn more science and the careful consideration by your comment.
Ladyharpie • 2 points • 2023-03-11
I literally came back to delete that comment. It was a bit overboard on my part so I’m going to edit it.
Look I think you’re doing great for what it’s worth. It’s more important to be kind than right so I’m going to go back and change my tone of things.
Ladyharpie • 2 points • 2023-03-11
No it’s not safe for people with ADHD, depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, parkinsons, addiction, etc.
Please talk to your doctor if you have questions about this. People with ADHD are suffering from dopamine deficit, we need stimulation in order to function.
vintage2019 • 2 points • 2023-03-11
OP is talking about disconnecting from dopamine-driven addictive behaviors in order to start healthier habits, not literally reducing the amount of dopamine in the brain. That is absolutely safe for people with those conditions
Ladyharpie • 1 points • 2023-03-11
I’m in the process of learning that there is a huge language barrier between people in the health field and laymen that are simply looking for help.
The word “detox” is a bit of a warning flag for a lot of people that study these more complex subjects because detoxing is a very serious situation for us. However, that same language seems to help people conceptualize these ideas better.
I’m learning that it’s better to be helpful and encouraging than it is to be technically correct. Especially if that makes recovery even more overwhelming for people.
MusicLovesYou_ • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Not safe for people with depression / addiction?
Can you go into more detail what you mean by this?
Dopamine detoxing should actually have the effect of increasing dopamine levels, because it’s not wasted on activities that waste it. I agree it should have a better name.
It is a great treatment for addiction and depression in my opinion, because it makes healthy activities more rewarding because you have higher dopamine levels.
Ladyharpie • 4 points • 2023-03-11
Dopamine is understood to be the motivation neurotransmitter. It motivates us to do x, y, z. When we are low on dopamine we become more motivated to do x, y, z. It doesn’t necessarily make things more or less pleasurable, it just makes us more or less wanting to do something. Although pleasure or satisfaction (serotonin) as a byproduct can increase our likelihood to do whatever that something is again, but pleasure and satisfaction isn’t our sole motivator.
So low dopamine levels in addicts make them want to do thing, it doesn’t really matter what that thing is to satisfy that need, but if they’ve done x a lot then its easier to keep doing x. You can take all the alcohol in the world away and they’re still an addict because their addiction isn’t fueled by pleasure or satisfaction it’s fueled by escaping pain.
MusicLovesYou_ • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Interesting. This shows I have a lot more learning to do before I can make an even more informative post on this subject. The science is way over my head, I just know it worked really well for me and other people I know who tried it.
From now on, I will stick to less scientific terms in an attempt to not provide misleading information. Thank you
Edit: to clarify, your explanation of how dopamine works does not line up with my research.
Also, I’m writing up a post about this topic to put up tomorrow. Can I send you my post to proofread before I put it up? I would really value your input.
IluvNiku • 5 points • 2023-03-10
Please share your resources, I would love to know. Would love to do a detox as well
MusicLovesYou_ • 4 points • 2023-03-10
You got it, I’ll ping you when I make a post about it!
redditnoap • 1 points • 2023-03-10
That’s the only solution. But doing THAT ITSELF feels impossible in this world. That would literally fix all my problems.
MusicLovesYou_ • 1 points • 2023-03-11
It totally feels impossible, I understand how that feels. It’s entirely possible, however
Understanding that those bad behaviors have adverse consequences to our mental health, and are addictive, is the first step to realizing we HAVE to make a change.
redditnoap • 2 points • 2023-03-12
But that can range from youtube, to video games, to porn/masturbation. All of those give lots of dopamine and can be addictive.
I have noticed that going somewhere like the library to work greatly reduces my “distractions” as in doing the above activities, and so far the only one that seems actually stoppable is porn/masturbation. I feel much better when I don’t do it for a prolonged period of time, but my attention span is still affected by youtube and social media. But going to the library helps me work for prolonged periods of time without getting distracted, almost magically. I had never experienced that in years. Felt so proud of myself. But still. An actual dopamine detox would not only fix my work ethic/habits, but my whole life in general. Just my outlook on the world, commitment toward improving my mind/body, and my pursuit of social interaction. That’s my goal.
Immediate-Bear-340 • 14 points • 2023-03-10
Sometimes the only out is through. It means I gotta get through at least a couple dishes so I can have Clean plates, or my coffee cups. I gotta get through putting some towels away, even if it’s just enough to have a shower. It tends to lead to more getting done. I force myself. I usually allow myself a nice reward for doing everything like getting all the dishes done and put away. Best of luck op. There are no stupid questions my frend. I’m in college classes and there’s people in both classes who ask every possible question they can think of, and we all love them for the extra clarity and double that we understand the material because of them. If you don’t ask questions, how are you going to learn?
BetterReThanProlapse • 8 points • 2023-03-10
As others have mentioned this might sounds like typical ADHD executive function disorder, so maybe look into that.
That being said, I find myself in a similar position as yourself – all theory, no practice. To get going with the actual doing, I committed myself to 30 days of writing, one post per day. I’m focusing on stuff pertinent to this subreddit, but ofc you can apply yourself to any topic, just trying to write one paragraph every day, you might be surprised how much you accomplished.
Incidentally, today’s post was actually addressing your problem, proposing the “hour glass method”. Check it out, maybe you find it helpful.
BamSteakPeopleCake • 8 points • 2023-03-10
I don’t have any advice but I struggle with the same problem. I think it may be due to perfectionism: we want to do things perfectly so we plan and research everything, but we never actually start because what if there is another piece of information that we missed?
I’m taking notes of everyone’s advice here. I don’t like the idea of a dopamine detox because I am addicted to my phone but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!
Calligraphie • 5 points • 2023-03-11
Honestly, if you want to cut out a bad habit, the best way is to find something to replace it with. Find something else you like doing, and decide you’re going to try to spend more time doing that instead.
It also helps not to even think of it as spending less time on your phone. That kind of self talk still prioritizes the thing you want to be doing less, so you’re actually focusing on the thing you want to be focusing less on. You know how, when someone tells you not to think of an elephant, the first thing you do is think about elephants? Your brain isn’t as great at processing the negative words like “not” and “less,” so it glosses over those and goes straight to “elephant” and “phone.” Instead, think of it as spending more time doing [whatever], so that your brain isn’t even getting the message “phone” in there anywhere, it’s getting the “whatever.” The less you feed your brain “phone” and the more you feed it “whatever,” the easier it will be to affect real change.
ncclln • 4 points • 2023-03-10
My brother had good advice for me when I told him about a creative pursuit I wanted to start, but was worried about not being “good enough.” It was simple, he told me to just make it (a type of art) everyday and don’t analyze it or critique it, or worry about it being perfect or even good. But just do it everyday and it will eventually get better and will evolve into something different and unexpected. I’m a perfectionist and so it was hard to follow his advice about not critiquing or analyzing at first, but he wasn’t wrong.
afternoonnap2 • 10 points • 2023-03-10
The title of you post is something I’ve been asking myself for a while. I just barely get the minimum accomplished to maintain myself and my family. Seeing people with actual hobbies and accomplishments while I struggle to do anything outside of cleaning, laundry, meals, dishes, raise kids, and keep my full time job. It was easier before my ex left, but I don’t have time to date. I worry my life is going to pass me by. Hopefully we can get there, you are not alone. I saw a response here that said dopamine detox/ less screen time and maybe that’s it. Almost daily I ask myself the same question as you “how the fuck does anyone actually accomplish anything”. I’m glad I’m not the only one. Good luck.
MarkedByFerocity • 6 points • 2023-03-10
Hey, I just want to throw some encouragement your way. It sounds like you’re actually accomplishing a ton. I know routine tasks can seem less important than fun extracurriculars and hobbies, but the work you are doing is extremely important and valid. I hope eventually you’ll find the time and opportunities for self-care, whether that be hobbies or an extra nap. It’s ok if you’re not there yet and it doesn’t make you a failure at all. You are doing an amazing job keeping all this together.
afternoonnap2 • 5 points • 2023-03-10
Thank you I really appreciate it. I’d just like to get more done you know? But thank you what you wrote is nice to read and I will keep it in mind
Knight-Jack • 5 points • 2023-03-11
It sounds like your brain is like “there’s a very big chance we’re going to spend a lot of time and energy on something that has little chance of getting us dopamine out of this (no guarantee of success, like there never is)“. So the brain itself protects you, in it’s own way, from wasting your energy.
I saw in the comment the idea that you need to put it in smaller chunks, and it’s a good advice. Give your brain a bit of what you want to chew on - see the outcome (and since you like writing, you can reasonably assume you’ll be happy with it). Write a sentence. A paragraph. Look how nice it looks on the paper. How many words were already written. Think how satisfying it would be to fill the page with it.
This is, more or less, how I tricked myself into writing. Even when I was mentally exhausted, I’d write a sentence. Look at it. You did it. You made that happen. And you know, it’s more than you would have written if you decided to not write today at all. And eventually seeing pages after pages of writing, the whole chapter, the word count, it made me feel so proud.
Wallflowerette • 4 points • 2023-03-10
It’s another book, but I recommend “Atomic Habits”. It is filled with actionable changes you can make in your life, such as habit stacking, making bad habits difficult, and modifying your environment. The author even calls out people who research and plan too much; it’s just another form of procrastination (he admits to being guilty of it in the past). Loved the audiobook version.
Sufficient_Map_8034 • 4 points • 2023-03-10
What even is doing?
You are doing by learning from training courses, attending webinars, reading self-improvement books, reading sector specific books, writing out ideas, researching ideas.
It sounds like the only thing you’re not doing is producing a ‘finished’ product. All it takes is to make a decision to finish 1 article under one of the topics you brainstormed then just do it.
You might be avoiding that if you are scared the quality of what you produce will be below par.
AnhedonicSpirit • 4 points • 2023-03-10
Not a stupid question at all. It really hits me because not only is it a question which I’m asking myself as well but I have trouble to answer it too.
When I plan to do something I tend to overthink it completely. Sometimes I spend hours, no, seriously HOURS, to waste my mental energy contemplating every possible little thing about this ‘project’. Worst part is: I either just forget about it and don’t do it at all or I actually force myself to start doing it but still have no clue how to do it because my brain shuts down or things turn out much differently as in my thoughts.
Here is what I think the problem is:
It’s a fear of being overwhelmed and of doing mistakes. In the mind it seems so elegant, so perfect, as if you know exactly how to do it but reality hits hard because there is always a thing you haven’t considered. Despite all the planning. Unfortunately, doing mistakes and being clueless is part of learning and growing.
As I said, I don’t really know how to answer this question but I think at some point one just have to jump in at the deep end. I don’t say we should stop planning things but we need to recognize when it’s no longer contributing.
right_behindyou • 7 points • 2023-03-10
Thinking about ideas is easy, now you’ve reached the hard part. Research and planning is fine, but at some point (right about now, it sounds like) it becomes a distraction and procrastination. It’s not like you’ll be able to skip steps once you have the perfect plan, at some point you have to start from exactly where you’re at.
To move from the planning stage to the doing stage you stop planning and start doing. The first step — whether it feels small and inconsequential or monumental and scary or whatever it feels like that is causing you to put it off — is the ONLY way to get to the next one. Take the step that’s there for you and then just keep doing that and see where the path leads.
gooberfaced • 10 points • 2023-03-10
There is no magic wand and the answer is ridiculously simple- do it anyway.
I am mentally preparing myself for everyone to say ‘just do it’
So you know this already :)
What reply would you like? Click your heels together three times? Dig a hole shaped like your desk and throw pencils in it?
There is no magic answer other than stop thinking so much about every minute detail and just give it a shot.
Make a list of three small things you could do every day to further your life goals. Then do them.
The three small steps need to be your over riding daily priorities. If you can do this for even one week your entire outlook on both your life and your self will change.
I would suggest that the first be:
writing for one hour each day.
writingandrainbows • 12 points • 2023-03-10
Urgh, I was kind of hoping someone would come at me with “Do This One Trick to have Willpower and Motivation” but an actual trick instead of a clickbait article 🤣
I like the idea of doing three small steps - I think I’m maybe getting stuck on looking at too big a picture and trying to get that perfect, when maybe I should be starting the process and refining things along the way 🤔 thank you Internet stranger! 👌
ediblesprysky • 8 points • 2023-03-10
The best trick I’ve found to “just do it” is to just do it before I really have time to think about it. Like as soon as I realize I should do something, it’s best if I just jump on that task. Because if I think too long about it, I will over-complicate it come up with something else I have to do first, get distracted, etc. I can’t even tell myself “I’ll start at [whatever time] o’clock!” because I will definitely miss that time, I will snooze that alarm and tell myself I’ll just finish up what I’m currently doing and get to it in 15 minutes, which of course I won’t, the cycle will repeat for hours and then I’ve wasted all the available time I had that day.
Just start before you even mentally give yourself any other option.
[deleted] • 3 points • 2023-03-10
Literally me
turquoise_grey • 2 points • 2023-03-10
Man. I’m with you on this. I always say “I’m a thinker, not a do-er”. But I want to be a do-er! I have running lists of things I want to try and things I think I can accomplish but I never actually do any of them. Or I start and just fizzle out halfway through or the minute I hit one tiny bump on the road.
I wonder to myself often— what is it that’s stopping me from trying things really? I haven’t yet identified if it’s a fear of failure, a lack of real pressure to do it, or just laziness. Of course “just do it” is the advice I get too. I just don’t know what the mental block is.
A lot of my ambitions are creative goals (design, illustration, writing) and my biggest motivator (myself) is also my hardest, most ruthless critic.
My advice is to get yourself a different motivator. Like a hype-man, a cheerleader. A best friend or mentor (preferably some sort of extrovert 😜) Maybe you need to ask someone to help you move forward with the energizing and emotional parts of your goals. It’s a big ask from someone, but we might need someone who is able to encourage us and nudge us. Maybe sometimes drag us and pick us up again. I really do think that’s what I need to move forward with things and maybe you do too.
(Edit for clarity)
Astreja • 2 points • 2023-03-10
The only antidote is to do something. Anything. Even five minutes a day. Grab a pen and paper and write an outline of your first blog post. Tomorrow, set up an account on a blogging site. Don’t worry about the way the site looks; you can customize it later.
A tiny bit of progress every day will overcome years of inaction, bit by bit.
TongueTwistingTiger • 2 points • 2023-03-10
‘but what if I don’t know enough and make a fool out of myself?’
This is impostor syndrome. Think of it this way. The VAST, VAST majority of people are incredibly unqualified for their job. If you’re smart and you care about something, you offer a fresh perspective, which is critically important. There are people who make a MASSIVE amount of money despite the fact that they are grossly underqualified for their job.
From one writer to another, imposture syndrome is something you will probably contend with regularly. I’m writing a piece of fiction right now, despite the fact that my life doesn’t reflect on the main character at all. But I did the work. I researched and informed myself so I could properly inform others.
You’re human, you can learn, you can inform yourself. I blog as well, and I do quite a bit of research for each topic and make sure I’m not just talking out my ass. I also have a bit of an education in philosophy and communications.
I still consider myself grossly underqualified, but even so, my voice has value. YOUR voice has value. Don’t give up.
I also suggest a dopamine detox. Reddit is the only social media I use with any regularity and even it seems like too much to get anything done sometimes. Learn to reward yourself with work your brain actually finds rewarding.
Get going. The world needs to hear what you have to say.
Daikon510 • 2 points • 2023-03-10
Paranoia and overthinking. That my kryptonite.
Actual_Barnacle • 2 points • 2023-03-10
Sounds like your goals may be too nonspecific or large. You need to break them into small, attainable pieces that you’ll actually do. Look up SMART goals.
Laundry_and_taxes • 2 points • 2023-03-11
Maybe you expect everything you do to be good, without that precious trial and error phase? The fear of being bad is keeping you from trying at all. Just say fuck it and give it a chance! Use an anonymous name if it makes you feel better. 10 minutes practice is better than none, right? Keep fucking up until you’re confident, for no other reason than to put yourself out there over and over. Go failure to failure with the same amount of optimism! Life is so short, go for it and keep failing and trying and failing. Why the hell not?
gr3nade • 2 points • 2023-03-11
You sound just like me. Doing great in my career, lots of ideas, lots of ambition, very little ability to follow-through. The only main difference is that I have crippling anxiety that I tend not to show anyone and somehow nobody ever suspects it. Anyway, as of this week I’ve started suspecting I may have ADHD because it seems like an executive dysfunction issue. I asked some colleagues and friends and family for help and advice and they’ve set up a doctor’s appointment on monday to talk about this and see a specialist to get checked out.
It’s not even that I’m lazy, my behaviour sometimes just doesn’t make any sense. It’s like that spongebob meme, I know the behaviour is good for me, I know exactly what the behaviour is, I know it’s a simple task that will only take a few minutes and based on my previous behaviour I know that if I don’t start now I won’t start tomorrow. So do I start now? Nope, I’ll do it tomorrow. And before I know it 6 months have gone by and I missed the deadline for filing taxes by 3 months.
Outside of that, what does work for me is to just force deadlines on myself with real consequences. This is EXTREMELY difficult to do because accountability partners never take it seriously enough. I wish there was a service where someone would literally slap you in the face every time you didn’t do the thing you said you were going to do.
One thing I’ve been trying to implement a lot lately is the 5 second rule. Just count to 5 and start doing the thing that you aren’t doing. It helps a little.
Synchro_Shoukan • 2 points • 2023-03-11
shewasawritergurl • 2 points • 2023-03-11
I went through this for many years. I have wanted to be an author since I was 8 years old and even won writing contests and scholarships. Once I hit adulthood a combination of coping with stress and imposter syndrome kicked in and stopped me from writing.
I got fed up and needed to make a change. I put all of my time into self-improvement. I did a 60 day challenge where every day I did the following: ate healthy, exercised, took cold showers, did positive affirmations, practiced gratitude, wrote in a journal, listened to motivational podcasts, read personal development books, went for a walk, did yoga, and meditated. It was during the pandemic so I had time! I would suggest picking 2 or 3 and committing to doing them every day for at least 3 weeks to build the habit. For me, it was about self-discipline but also learning to prioritize myself and practice self-care. It was also about learning why. Why wasn’t I able to write my book or accomplish any of my dreams? It came down to a lack of self-worth, self-care, and self-acceptance. As well as fear, imposter syndrome, and trying to do what I feel I “should.” I had a fear of rejection and not fitting in. Journaling and meditating can really help uncover any limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Positive affirmations and gratitude can help shift your mindset.
In the past 4 months I’ve been published in 2 anthologies. I am also almost done with my first full book. I’m 75% of the way done and have written about 120 pages - something I had started to think I could never do. I also started my own business and run my own blog. And started a whole new career. If I can do it you can too!
Jmljrh • 0 points • 2023-03-10
“Just do it” I know y’all a dreading this for an answer but it’s really the only solution for the question 😂 “just do it” doesn’t mean garnering millions of impressions from writing on your blog, getting promoted to the ceo within the next week for your job. The real magic behind just do it, is to find what it is RELATIVE to your situation that your capable of doing. You struggle with hitting publish for your blog? Hey, maybe at this point & time your “just do it” isn’t that, maybe it’s posting pieces of your material in this Reddit forum until your “just do it” becomes hitting that publish button elsewhere! Think about it, in a way you’ve already done it by making this post. You’ve already proven to us & yourself that there is a part of you capable of “just doing it”
Sanity_LARP • 0 points • 2023-03-10
Nike just do it
GroundbreakingLead31 • 0 points • 2023-03-10
I think, like Nike said, by just doing it.
Countsbeans1976 • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Check out the Tamed series by improvement pill on YouTube.
Jlchevz • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Stop trying to avoid being mediocre and start taking steps towards what you really want. Stop overthinking. Start something.
stardust8718 • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Read atomic habits. Very helpful.
xymemez • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Build on small completions. Find the smallest meaningful action that you can take that will lead to a completion of your goal and take that.
In the case of writing a blog you start by writing a short and bad article. You then build from there. Accept the failure.
KaleidoscopeInside • 1 points • 2023-03-10
For me I had a two-fold approach. Not saying this will definitely work for you, but I have seen a major difference for me.
- Start with tiny tasks to give yourself that positive reinforcement.
For example with blogging, start with something that you can easily achieve in a few minutes, like writing the title, making a layout plan of what will be in each paragraph. Writing the first sentance of your first paragraph etc.
I found by starting out with really small jobs that I would set myself up for success and it became almost a form of positive reinforcement. If you think about it, it’s far more motivating to attempt a job you think you can achieve, rather than one that feels out of reach.
Once I was managing the smaller tasks, I then moved the goalposts a little and made them slightly bigger. Not to be overwhelming, but just something a little harder. Maybe that took 5 minutes or a little bit more mental effort. Find that middle ground where you are still setting yourself up for success, but also slightly pushing those boundaries where your brain starts to kick in and try to put the jobs off.
2. Work out the underlying cause.
Overplanning or procrastination generally are a symptom of something rather than the full picture. It could be anxiety, fear of failure, lack of motivation, ADHD, a whole variety of things.
You may already have an idea or not have a clue at all, but when you try and do a job and you feel that urge to put it off, think about what is actually going on in your mind at that moment.
What are you feeling? What emotions, thoughts, memories etc. is it conjuring up? From that you can find coping techniques for those specific things, or if you think you may have something like ADHD or a specific learning issue, you could perhaps look at services to help with that.
CantaloupeKlutzy8830 • 1 points • 2023-03-10
It sounds like you are being held back by fear and perfectionism. You have done your research to be informed and confident, but it is time to take the risk and just get started. You may find that, as you take the leap, your ideas become more refined with more experience.
CBRChris • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Try mindful meditation!
hyperglhf • 1 points • 2023-03-10
I have a list of things I need to do, but I only choose 3 of those each day to do. Some days I end up doing one, or if it’s a really bad day, none. But on normal or great days, I do those three things, & those three things each day add up fast.
papadon18 • 1 points • 2023-03-10
Inadequacy and Fear of success; can I sustain the success and build upon it or will it be found out that I’m a fraud? I have literally sabotaged my own success so that can exit on my own terms. I can pick up on how to do just about anything and do it well. It’s sustaining it or investing more than what the initial interest requires that kills it for me. It’s a wall that I haven’t broken through more than a handful of times in my life to my own detriment. Unofficially I have ADHD and am manic-depressive with a little OCD sprinkled on top. My mother expected a lot out me and pushed me mercilessly until I developed learned self-helplessness. So…having identified and acknowledged this did little other than surviving my mother until my son was born. The connection between us was instant and I knew that my destiny was to help my son overcome his fears; to break that wall. To be there for him when pangs of doubt enveloped his psyche. When the fear of the unknown paralyzed him. When the inevitable false step of failure enveloped him. His two rules were Listen and apply yourself at all times. We would take care of everything else. He was able to sidestep the hang ups I had. He wanted to play basketball at age 5. I knew nothing of the sport but my Grandfather was a professional soccer player and Coach of a successful National team. So why not? My son played in three different teams yearly through high school (where he also excelled in Xcountry, photography, Track, math and science) where he took his team to their first regional Championship. He went on to play Division 1 basketball for his hometown University while maintaining a 3.85 GPA in Accounting. He went in to Coach D2 Women’s as well as AAU 7th grade basketball and took both teams to Championship before switching gears and going into accounting then finance landing a very high level position in a private equity firm owned by the oldest private equity family in our City. So what I guess I’m saying is that with the right support and attitude you too can “break through that wall”. Believe in yourself. Have the confidence to know you have got this. Gain the courage to trust your instincts and intuition. Have the perseverance and dedication to pick yourself up and keep forging ahead. It all starts with that first step. The hardest step. But once you take it you set yourself free. Good luck and keep us posted on your success. We’re all pulling for you.
PMPodTuber • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Yes. “Just do it.”. Godspeed.
sir-draknor • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Lots of good advice here already! I’ll add my $0.02:
- Accept the facts that (a) You can’t change EVERYTHING all at once, and (b) Some things are going to be more important to you than others. Don’t fight that - just recognize it & accept it.
- Real change takes place over time and requires consistency of behavior. Behavior change is hard - like really hard - so make small changes, but focus on doing it every day.
I feel like I’m doing a pretty good job juggling life right now — working on my career, investing in my future, being present with my family, taking care of myself — and its definitely a work-in-progress, but I’m using these principles (above). I like the EOS system from the book Traction, and I’m adapting it to my personal life:
- Every quarter (eg every 3 months), I pick 4-6 “rocks” to focus on and 5-7 personal KPIs
- Every week, I spend some time checking my progress on my “rocks” and recording my personal KPIs for the week
- Every day, I make notes about what I’m doing (so I can look back & record my personal KPIs during my weekly planning time)
- At the end of the quarter (so for me, at the end of this month), I’ll reflect on whether I achieved my rocks & KPIs (the goal is just 80% completion), and pick new rocks and modify (if necessary) my KPIs for next quarter.
I’m finding this to be very powerful. Here are some examples:
- One of my rocks this quarter (Jan-Mar) is to weigh in at <20% body fat for 2 weekly readings. I’d been traveling & stressed with work the last few weeks and figured I wouldn’t be able to complete this, but I decided to give it a serious attempt during my weekly planning time this past Monday (since the quarter’s running out!) - and today I checked in at 19.8%. You can bet your ass that I’m going to watch my diet to make sure I come in <20% at next week’s weigh-in!
- One of my weekly KPIs is spending X hours/week\ playing with my 8yo son. He’s recently gotten into one of my favorite video games (Factorio!) and so I’ve been making a special effort to make time to play it with him (at this point I’m WELL in excess of my weekly goal this week!). But without having that KPI (and the awareness that comes with paying attention to it), it would have been SUPER easy to say “Sorry kid, I’m too busy with work to play right now”.
- Some of my other KPIs are “Work out at least 4 times/week” and “Journal at least 4 times/week” — these are behaviors that I’ve learned are very important for me to perform in my life at my best, and so I’m measuring myself on them. Doesn’t mean I hit them every week — but it makes me aware of these behaviors, and I’m thinking about them every week, and making intentional decisions about engaging in them.
And start small - like I said, I’m focusing on 4-6 rocks this quarter, and hoping to complete 80%, which means I’m really only expecting to complete 3 or 4 priorities in a 90 day period, which doesn’t seem like much, but - it’s enough of a challenge, while still being feasible (not impossible!).
Good luck!
Ladyharpie • 1 points • 2023-03-11
I wish we would moderate these dopamine posts better. I feel like there’s been this flood of posts from people who’ve read a book or watched a bunch of tiktoks thinking that it’s the equivalent of doing research or understanding these complex ideas and neurochemical mechanisms.
I think it’s especially dangerous for communities such as this one with such a vast variety of experiences, emotional/mental/physical development, neurological chemistry, etc who are looking for solutions. Often in a level of desperation to try anything despite the chance that something being advertised as a one size could very likely do more harm.
I’ve been following this sub a long time and studying neuroanatomy, clinical psychology, psychopharmacology, etc for longer. I think these posts are intended to be helpful and I’m happy to see people excited to understand these dynamics and feel validated in their experiences but I just personally can’t do this anymore I just don’t have the bandwidth.
metrobabyyy • 1 points • 2023-03-11
You should say this to the subs mods not the person who is reaching out. Also, this sub genuinely helps people but one size does not fit all. It’s discouraging for you to comment this to someone who is finally realizing they need a change.
If it’s not beneficial for you then just leave.
LendAHand_HealABrain • 1 points • 2023-03-11
They are all likely from the Dr. Andrew Huberman podcast. Haven’t read any here. I could offer a synopsis, but as you mention, it could just muddle the message and who knows if I am correctly summarizing this stuff either? For this post, motivation + salience does require dopamine. So, I guess it is relevant if OP wants to change habits to optimize that drive…but OP can’t get started, and seems theory is not OP’s problem - it is paralysis by analysis, to me.
OP, how about visualizing what might turn out to be if you continue avoiding and doing less than you believe you can and want to be doing? What is the consequences to leaving your authenticity undiscovered and unexamined because you skip starting to do so in the ways you’ve described as they may hold some of that relevance? Could you be satisfied with a life of “I am good at something I never took any small or big chances; that you could yet let the decision fall from your own hands, even, and lost the opportunities to share with other, and to connect to the world, to be and be seen in glimpses of a rarity that is your unique person expressed in written words and other forms? I like negative visualization like that. I beat myself up over regret, so I’m easy to talk out of not doing what I will come to regret I didn’t do.
[deleted] • 1 points • 2023-03-11
you wrote my thoughts! excited to read these comments to get other people’s input.
shannon_nonnahs • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Also, ask yourself if you really want to, or know why you want to, do these things you plan. Sometimes plans are just daydreams, and that’s okay too. Imagination is beautiful, and step 1. Doesn’t need to be a written-in-stone goal that you could potentially fail simply bc you dreamed/imagined/desired it. Put a pin it, and be gentle with yourself. if you can logically declare it a priority, do it before you have enough time to think of all the reasons it’s too hard or not worth it. Every day is Sisyphus rolling that boulder uphill.
VanillaCookieMonster • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Give yourself the freedom to look stupid.
Seriously.
Give yourself permission to SUCK at something when you Start and then move upward from there.
Even when you are writing this you say you feel like an idiot.
It’s actually more common than you think.
Pick something and Post it. Right now. You said you have already written a bunch. Just post ONE thing.
THEN WALK AWAY AND LEAVE IT THERE. Yes, don’t edit it.
Wait a week or day and paste something else.
Don’t go back and navel gaze. LEAVE THE POSTS THERE.
YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO “PERFECT” THEM. NO. DON’T.
Instead do something else New.
GriseoHominis • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Just DO IT!
But maybe you should question why you aren’t doing it?
What is stopping you?
Meditate/contemplate why?
Spend time on this.
It’s FEAR.
Fear of judgement, fear it’s not good enough, fear of failure and so on.
Anything worth doing, is worth doing badly to begin with.
So just start and do it. And keep going, you’ll get better with time and practice.
Tighron • 1 points • 2023-03-11
The one thing that has helped me is accepting that life requires Effort, and applying Effort to do anything is Uncomfortable. Its straight up uncomfortable.
So im going into everything with the idea: “Alright, im going to do Thing, and i know its going to be uncomfortable. And im still going to do it despite it being uncomfortable.”
If im as an example cleaning my room/apartment i know before starting that its going to be a hassle, im not going to “want” to do it but it needs doing. But if i dont start it simply wont be done.
Starting something is a lot harder than to keep going once you have started. Like writing, the first handfulls of sentences are not going to come easy or be of good quality, but then you go back and edit what you wrote and the next bit flows easier, since you are in motion now.
ladp23 • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Something that works for me:
Take a blank sheet of paper. Write down the activity you want to do. For example, in your case it could be “Publish an article on my blog”.
Below this, draw a row of 10 circles next to each other.
When you publish your first article, color inside the first circle. Each time your publish, color the next blank circle.
All this while, make sure this sheet of paper in on your desk or in a place you look at multiple times a day. This will serve as a reminder, and help you maintain momentum.
This sounds simple and dumb, but it works.
Good luck!
[deleted] • 1 points • 2023-03-11
It takes only 5 seconds for your mind to talk you out of something! Just do it. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesnt have to be drafted. It is hard to beat a cycle, but only one small change is ALL it takes!
Goniel9604 • 1 points • 2023-03-11
Don’t worry about it being perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist, no reason to try to achieve what is not and can’t be real. Get a friend that you know and ask for him to give you a little push, ask him to get you some motivation and that might just help. Try to, instead of caring about the final product, to have fun on the journey and what you can learn from it, not every project haves to come through, and none will if you don’t try first. There are no stupid questions and that’s just a way of getting yourself look smaller, so when you want to ask something, just ask it fearless. After all, we all have our strengths and weaknesses, and your weakness (that can be worked on) is to do, just as I’m very bad at long term planning. Hope this helps ♥️♥️♥️
Phi87 • 1 points • 2023-03-11
When I feel stuck like this, the key for me is just starting. Pick a task from one of the projects that you can finish in a short time - say a few hours or less. Completing one task provides a sense of accomplishment that builds on itself. Then do the next one and the next one. The key is starting. All journeys begin with a step
Mean_Clam • 1 points • 2023-03-11
A phrase that’s helped me do a lot of things(I’m also a hardcore planner) is “if it’s worth doing at all, it’s worth doing poorly”.
charismaticroz • 1 points • 2023-03-11
My advice to you is to stop using your plans as crutches. You probably have executive dysfunction, which means you can’t structure yourself or work the same as others, and that’s okay!
SirZacharia • 1 points • 2023-03-11
When you practice something you get better at it, and want to do it more. All it takes to get great at anything is 30 minutes a day.
biancadaze • 1 points • 2023-03-11
I have the same exact problem as you 😩
blissbali2020 • 1 points • 2023-03-12
Limiting belief, in your case fast of failing (perfectionism reinforcement). I can help you with this. It takes time to reframe but it’s possible. Perfection kills done.
Apprehensive_Pool525 • 1 points • 2023-03-12
I feel you OP, for the longest time I was trying to understand how to DO something. In my case what stopped me was mainly procrastination and perfectionism!
I didn’t want to invest my energy in something that wouldn’t look like what I have in mind or invest a certain amount of energy in something that could possibly fail. Something that helps me now to hijack that is clarity + purpose = commitment. You have to understand why you do something , and what is the destination to get ready to follow that route.
You can make 10000000 plans, if you don’t know the “why, what and where” behind these tasks you want or have to do, you won’t do much ( according to my experience).
Also, maybe when you are making plans you see these as restrictions and not something that will allow you to grow. What I meant by that is that you wanna improve yourself so you plan things out. By planning, you set certain conditions and you might tell yourself subconsciously that if you don’t meet whatever objectives and stages on your plans, then it means you failed, hence feeding a lack of commitment. You apprehend “doing” cause it asks too much commitment , and you don’t wanna fail so you don’t wanna commit entirely.
Motivation will come and go, perseverance will built itself as you do. If you are really into something you wanna improve like a hobby, then passion will act as the main fuel. Knowing why you do something and why you wanna reach a certain objective , alongside being committed is the “magical” thing that will actually make you do things.
One last thing I love to tell to myself is “ if I failed 1000 times and then after I succeeded 1 time , I actually succeeded 1001 times, because it wouldn’t be a success if I failed more than I succeeded ! :) “
Hope it will help anybody here , sorry for my English, it’s not my native language
Competitive-Show1903 • 1 points • 2023-03-12
[I’m not very experienced but-] Honestly, you’re right. “Just do it” is correct.
[Just do it]
But it also seems you are very passionate about your work. It might lead to planning the “perfect idea” and getting burnt out because of it.
If people were to plan everything from start to finish thus seeing all of the work that’s ahead of them, nobody would ever start a business. SO JUST START.
You might also want to keep in mind the rule of 2 (there are many but bear with me). The rule of two states that if you want to see long-term results - you need to stick to your idea for two years. Sounds scary right? It’s because it is. But hopefully understand and accept that a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.[Defining expectations]
Just post that first blog and expect failure. You are not going to get to fame, clout, or anything else with 1, 2, 5, 10, 50, or even 100 posts. But my points are that you make the first steps and you should expect EVERY SINGLE ONE of your 50 or maybe even 100 posts are going to suck but you will get slightly better on each one, and slightly improve one aspect. Over 100 posts, even if it’s a small 1% change, it’ll grow over time.[Tips if you don’t wanna read through]
My only tips for you are:
- Just do it, nobody else will do it for you
- Expect failure for a while, Rome wasn’t built in one day
- If you slightly improve on every single post, you will be unstoppable
- Write topics on things that interest you, it’ll make writing a hell less of a pain in the arse.[Final thoughts]
I hope that someone actually reads my comment, I spat some great material. Even if I help one random person, I’ll be very happy. If I did, an upvote will be very appreciated.
DueBeginnings • 1 points • 2023-03-12
Easy, “plan” to do it badly on purpose like it’s part of the process. Put an hour timer on and pick a title at random. Write until the hour is up. Hit publish regardless of what’s there. Once you’re on the ladder you can climb.
I have published over 700 blog posts, my first one was really bad and I laugh at it now.